Dear Mr. Vice-President,

I write you with a heavy heart. That such fundamental tutelage is necessary for a person of your standing dumbfounds and dismays. How could it be, I gasp, that any human not cognitively enfeebled, much less a senior officer of earth’s richest and most lethal nation, could sneer at the Pope’s theology! – and the sneerer a recent and boastful convert to the faith over which the Pope presides? I write without expectation that you would read or, if you read, understand, but to expiate my wailing soul and beg forgiveness; also to remind myself why such conduct is not only grotesque, stupid, and vile, but evil.

Evil is not an adjective I bandy lightly. Evil means bad without hope of rescue, a garment so stained it can only be discarded. I didn’t use to believe in evil, but events of the past decade changed my mind. We are all disappointments – or in the lingo of your recently adopted faith, sinners – but if we acknowledge and face that fact, and strive to do better, maybe we can work our way back into God’s good graces. I am not a Roman Catholic – or any Christian subset; my God precedes the limitation of labels. I make no claim for His superiority or omnipotence, only of his importance to me. He visited me – once. I know Him. More consequentially, He knows me – my capacity, yearning, lapses – how far I fall from His bright ideal.

A fundamental precept of yours, mine, and I’m pretty sure all religions, is respect for one’s fellow man: the Golden Rule. “Whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them,” said Jesus. “What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor,” said Hillel. “Do not impose on others what you do not wish for yourself,” said Confucius. “Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful,” said the Buddha. And so forth. Call this Humanity 101, an awareness requisite to decency.

Respecting one’s seniors and betters is another shared value of all recognized religions. “Honor thy father and thy mother,” directs the fifth of the Ten Commandments, an urging widely echoed.

Humility is another universal injunction. “Whoever humbles himself for the sake of God, God will raise him,” preached Muhammed, speaking for all.

How, most religious sir, do you rate against these measures? Do you treat others with respect? Doff your cap to your betters? (For surely the Pope is a more reverend person than a swaggering accidental American Vice-President.) Do you humble yourself before God and your fellow man?

Your vileness gets worse. For you’re no dummy. You and I are products of good old Yale, I wince to report. We both wrote books. Neither can plead ignorance or innocence. What prevents you from embracing the obvious? Or do you know what’s good and spurn it, in favor of your advancement?

You make me sick, sir. And ashamed – of my nation, alma mater, genus. But you also, paradoxically, lavish me with mission. If such evil stalks the earth, infecting susceptible minds, I’ve got a job to do, a big job that will not let me rest. I must teach Humanity 101, the rudiments of decency, civility, grace. One might think any halfwit might know these basics by your age but you and your boss prove otherwise. Morality is not a nice-to-have but the essential integument for a civilized society. You may disagree with a Pope or anybody, but you may not disrespect them. Lucky for you I’ve arrived at my six-hundred-word limit for I am apoplectic.

To arms.