Overheard between Republican Senators A and B:

A: Have you read the latest?

B: Dogshit every morning, every hour practically. I dread getting out of bed.

A: He’s nuts.

B: And not nice nuts. Total whack job.

A: And our President. What can you do?

B: I’m hearing it from my peeps. You we like fine but him…

A: As if he were our fault. They voted for him.

B: Didn’t you?

A: Walls have ears.

B (after a short pause): Oh.

A: Dressing up as Jesus. Going after the Pope. This f-ing war. ICE. Epstein. His triumphal arch. The Kennedy – excuse me, Trump-Kennedy Center. The little lady and I used to enjoy their shows.

B: And the price at the pump.

A: That’s the killer. He can lie about the other stuff. But sixty, seventy bucks to fill up. Pisses you off. You can’t help it.

B: Folks forget.

A: In six months? And the price may still be skyrocketing. Good luck with that.

B: And they expect us to do something about it.

A: Gas prices?

B: The whole shebang. Get rid of him. Sit on him. Do they have any idea?

A: Twenty-fifth Amendment! They were waving copies at my last town hall. As if I hadn’t read it.

B: Had you?

A: I have now. And what a mess. The Vice-President, backed by a majority of the Cabinet, recommends to Congress, and Congress…

B: Our asses would be grass in no time flat.

A: The lion in winter.

B: Only that’s not fair to lions.

A: So we just sit here – pretending everything’s fine? Headache’s just temporary. Sacrifices – to make America great again.

B: Americans don’t know from sacrifice.

A: Do you?

B: But, in all seriousness…

A: Don’t start. “In all seriousness” means the opposite.

B: I mean, America. If we don’t stop him.

A: We, Kemosabe? Dowse myself with pricey gas and incinerate myself on the White House lawn? No thanks.

B: We’re U.S. Senators, for Chrissake.

A: Know how you spell Senator?

B: Tell me.

A: W-i-m-p.

B: Speak for yourself.

A: I am. And for you. The lot of us. Everybody knows and nobody dares. You first – no, you – no, you – I insist!

B: So we shrug while the house is burning down?

A: Not shrug. Pray. We may survive this – stranger things have happened.

B: And if we don’t?

A: That’s how the cookie crumbled. We’re not to blame. History is.

A pause.

B: Doesn’t sit right.

A: Show me a diagram that gets you anywhere near where you want to go. Get rid of him? His thugs get rid of you. Don’t get rid of him? You vanish. Like his pal Vlad’s former pals. Out the window with you. Sorry, it was an accident.

B: You don’t think…?

A: Yeh, and good ole Jeff Epstein hung himself.

B: Now you’re –

A: Face it, my dear friend, this is the worst human being who’s ever walked the earth. A monster. You know it, I know it. But because he’s our monster, we smile and pretend everything’s peaches and cream. We’re lying every frigging day – and everyone knows we’re lying – and history’s holding its nose –

B: Oh, history!

A: Yeh, it’s keeping score. And tagging us for what we are – traitors – by inaction – guarding our behinds when we were supposed to be guarding America. It’d be tragic if it weren’t so pathetic. Party loyalty! What about our loyalty to that? (An American flag is hanging conveniently within view.)

B. Apart from that, Mrs. Lincoln…

A: Keep the faith, bro.

B: Yeh, I guess.